25 Random Things

An exercise several friends had been asking me for on Facebook...I was actually dreading it, but it ended up being really fun...a small jog down memory lane....

25 Random Things About Me...

1. I was born in Kansas City, KS and lived there for one month. I moved 8 times to 6 different states in my first 15 years. I have a younger brother who had to put up with a lot of bossiness growing up. He turned out okay! Now all my family lives out west…too far away, but great vacation spots.

2. One of my favorite childhood memories is attending Midnight Sun Bible Camp in the wilds of Alaska each July…learning to water ski in water that was about 20 degrees (yes, in July)…singing camp songs on the bus while counting how many times we had to stop on the pothole-filled, mud road to get unstuck…staying in cabins with no running water or electricity (yes, that meant outhouses & baths in the lake)…and making wonderful friends, some of whom I’ve reconnected with recently – yea, Facebook! I want my kids to go someday.

3. We moved to the Nashville area in 9th grade and I attended a small, private, Christian high school and made some more wonderful, lifelong friends. Tried running cross-country in 9th grade – was awful, so became a cheerleader instead. Much more fun…

4. I graduated from a great, small university…loved it…made more lifelong friends…worried too much about grades (I mean, no one ever asks you what your grades were, they just want to know if you graduated! Why didn’t someone tell me that? I’d have crammed a lot less and had even more fun!!!)…was president of my social club…majored in public administration & thought I wanted to go to law school (whew, that was a close call!)…didn’t find my prince charming (whew, that was a close call, also!)…and decided to move back to the “big” city…

5. Got my best job(s) ever at Saturn…worked there for 6 years…made more lifelong friends…moved to Philly for awhile…then back to get married to Charming….changed jobs and worked for a start-up, which was fun until we realized it was all a bit shady…got outta there with some more lifelong friends...then spent the next 6 years marketing at two other companies…more lifelong friends later & I’ve moved on to my current most favorite job, stay-at-home mommy…I hope my kids will become lifelong friends as well, I’m certainly investing a lot into them so they will!

6. Currently live on a battlefield. Our house is not haunted – we don’t think - but Kincaid’s school a block away is….the neighborhood is one of those where the houses have character and the neighbors are…characters. I love it…

7. My biggest pet peeves are when smokers throw cigarettes out the car window and when people drive more than 40mph on our busy 30mph street (I do give some grace!). Charming tells me to stop telling people to slow down or I might get shot one day, yikes…what has the world come to??

8. I love to decorate, write (I’m a new blogger), read, cook, watch movies, be with my kids & Charming, jam out with my kids with our new karaoke machine while cooking dinner, travel, travel, travel…now to figure out a way to get paid doing what I love, hmmm…a traveling, decorating, cooking, raising singing kids show?? I also love, love, love music – what a gift from God.

9. I absolutely adore where we live, our town is one of the “great spots” in the world. But, if Charming got a job someplace really warm and wonderful like the Florida coast or the Caribbean, I’d pack up tomorrow and leave it all behind…except the kids, of course, we’d have to bring them with us!

10. When my husband asked me out I thought he was fabulous, but after our first date he didn’t call me back for 8 months (he now says he knew I was the one and he just had some baggage to deal with – I choose to believe this)…but when he called me back, I wasn’t interested at all…he is very persistent, though and after awhile, I just had to give in…I got lucky.

11. I can’t wait to meet my new baby.

12. My favorite Christmas gift was a playhouse made from refrigerator boxes when I was four. My dad put it together and painted it and my mom made curtains and decorated it.

13. My favorite new word is “scrummy”…an urban combination of scrumptious and yummy…a perfect description for Charming and my children. (Thanks for introducing me to it, Julie!)

14. I am terrible at any sport with a ball, but do love water & snow skiing, hiking, yoga and basically any sport where other people are not depending on me to get them a ball, birdie, etc., or catch anything…I am remarkably well-matched with my 6-year-old at driveway basketball – he is sure to surpass me in the next year…

15. My favorite indulgence is book club…fourteen fantastic, unique, eclectic women, sage advice, yummy meals, great (and not so great) books, every six weeks…I don’t miss it!

16. If I had more money I would also indulge in a monthly, or weekly for that matter, massage. I tell Charming that if he would massage my back every night he could have anything he wanted and I would never complain…he hasn’t taken me up on the offer, yet.

17. My little boy is just like me…my little girl is just like Charming…waiting expectantly to find out about #3!

18. I hope my daughter is a bit more confident in sports than I am…

19. I most wish for my children a passionate love for God, compassionate and generous hearts, and loyal, fun, wonderful friends.

20. I wish all my lifelong friends lived in my town.

21. I’m glad all my lifelong friends don’t live in my town because it gives me an excuse to travel…

22. I’ve been hearing the term “advanced maternal age” a lot recently…it’s a bit depressing.

23. I love my dog. Quincy, a Springer Spaniel born on Christmas Day, 1999. My first baby. I really, really, really love my Quincy. My heart hurts just thinking of when he won’t be here, so I don’t. And I really do believe that he will be in heaven. I wouldn’t be happy otherwise.

24. I adore DisneyWorld. I really do. It truly was the “happiest place on earth” for us.

25. I am a peacemaker, aka, a conflict avoider. Can’t we all just get along…

26. My favorite vacation with Charming was Costa Rica. It was paradise for a week. Bath, England is a close second.

27. My ideal date is dinner out someplace really nice and then to the symphony. We are more on the “dinner out someplace pretty nice, (anyplace I don’t have to cook & clean up is nice), and then to the movies” budget right now and that is okay too…

28. Every stage of life has been my favorite.

29. I hate being cold, I wish I had started Starbucks, and I love to break the rules…this is #29…

A Small Mystery...

My stinker, sweet pea, princess, gift. My little mystery....

I try. Really hard. To monitor, to guard, to protect, to shelter.

I don't think it's working ... maybe I am blogging too much?

Scarlett's favorite new phrase when something is upsetting her is, "Hey! What's the big idea?!" Said with much moxie & huffiness (is that a word?)! This phrase pops out when I do something that frustrates her. For instance, try to get her dressed...or give her a cup of milk that has a small leak. It popped out the other day at McDonald's playland - directed to another little girl about Scarlett's age. I guess she was getting in Scarlett's "space" so she let her know about it. A loud, "Hey! What's the big idea?!" along with a swift kick! Ugh!

It is actually kind of funny when she blurts it out, you never know when it is coming and she is not partial upon whom she uses it. Charming has had it thrown his way a few times, as has Kincaid and Quincy. It's the perfect strangers who get it that really make you cringe! There usually isn't time to make a lot of excuses, so a short "So sorry, she's two." usually has to work. As much as I want to laugh sometimes, because it really is FUNNY, I do try to be a responsible mom and fuss at her about it.

Figuring out where she heard it has been a mystery. I mean, I do really monitor what she watches on TV (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Disney, Pooh), where she goes without me (Mother's Day Out, Sunday school), who she hangs out with (close friends & family). I've never heard these words come out of anyone we know.

So, I did the logical thing and asked her, "Scarlett, where did you hear that?" "I don't know." was the reply & continued to be for weeks until one day she was watching Mickey Mouse's Christmas show and came running into the kitchen exclaiming, "Mommy, Mommy!! Donald Duck says 'Hey! What's the big idea?!'" So I troup into the living room to see and sure enough, there is Donald saying "Hey! What's the big idea?!" in a very grouchy voice to Mrs. Claus herself.

Ah..mystery solved! It wasn't a teen show or inappropriate friend that corrupted my angelic child...it was Donald Duck! Now that I've watched it a bit more, he is a grouchy ole fella...and says "Hey! What's the big idea?!" in almost every episode. Not sure how I missed it before. Just goes to show how much we filter from what we hear. And, I guess, Scarlett thought that was how you were supposed to express your feelings when you were frustrated!

I haven't heard the famous phrase in a couple of days...it'll probably come out again at a most inopportune time!

I love solving mysteries...

You like Nachos?

My mummy and black kitty at the neighborhood Halloween block party.

Kincaid attends a public elementary school that is very diverse. We love our neighborhood for that exact reason. Our county as a whole is not diverse - most people are white, upper-middle class, conservative, Christians. I sometimes worried about how our kids would adapt to the real world of diversity - cultural, racial, economic - without being exposed in their young lives to much difference. Would they be compassionate to those with less or of different color? Would they be open-minded to different viewpoints and still celebrate their own beliefs and opinions?

Now, I don't worry. We moved to this neighborhood for the old houses we could afford. You know, the houses have character and the neighbors are...characters. They all look different - the houses, and the neighbors. The houses built between the early 1900's and 2005, most from 1930 - 1970. And the neighbors also, built..er, born, between 1900 and ... well, you get the idea.

The neighborhood is itself a dichotomy, close to a great upscale downtown and also only two blocks from public housing. It isn't a traditional "neighborhood" with cul-de-sacs and streets upon streets of houses with kids the same age. We have to make an effort to meet the neighbors and play. Our street is a busy cut-through where cars drive 60 in the 30 mph zone. It makes me nervous, so I just fuss at the dog about getting too close to the street, don't let Scarlett out front without me, pray, and call the police to please come out and monitor the traffic.

But the traffic is the only thing I don't love about our "neighborhood". Our neighbors are so wonderful - all ages and stages of life. The kind of neighbors you'll know forever - not intimately, but protectively. Ours is a neighborhood where each house has it's own story, so very different from the one next door. We have to try harder here to be connected to our neighbors, but it is so worth it.

So, back to the school. About 65% of the children at Kincaid's school are on "reduced-cost lunch" and Kincaid is actually a minority in his class - only one of nine white children out of twenty. He came home after his first day at school and said, "Hey Mom, I had my first conversation with an 'Ispanic' boy today!"

He was so excited. So I asked him what they talked about...he said,

"Oh, he said to me, 'You like nachos?' and I said, 'Yeah. You like Turkey-Cheese?'"

And that was it. A simple conversation and a bright smile for a new friend made. He was so proud of himself. I was so proud of him. We still need to work on the exchanging names part...

We thought we were brought to this place to serve our neighborhood and help in whatever ways we could, but really, we are the ones blessed by the people that surround us. Older, younger, wealthier, poorer and just middle of the road...some like us and many very different...what a wonderful fabric for a neighborhood. What a beautiful canvas on which to paint your earliest childhood memories.

Many families try to avoid our neighborhood and school because of the diversity. I just pinch myself and ask, "Aren't we lucky?"

Yes, you really can.

Kincaid asked me today, "Mom, can I be president?" No matter my political persuasion, it struck me that today was the first day that my "pat, affirming" answer, "Yes, honey, of course you can." was completely honest, with no "buts" and no reservations. You don't have to be born rich or white or maybe even male, you just have to be an American.

It Does Sink In, Somehow

We were driving around neighborhoods tonight looking at all the beautiful Christmas lights.

Kincaid starting asking questions as he always does. "Why does Santa only give one electronic gift per year?" (Our rule.) "Why does he only give one big gift per year?" and on....

With a sigh and the thought that I'm just not doing a great job instilling a sense of gratitude in this sweet child's heart, I launch into my obligatory answers. You know, the standard ones ... Santa has to share with all the children in the world .... there are gifts just as wonderful as electronics that he wants to give you .... and most of all ... Santa's not made of money, you know.

So, just when I feel that all is lost and I should probably start an intensive reevaluation of my techniques for raising responsible, thoughtful, unselfish, generous children, my sweet son surprises me and says, "Well, Mom, it doesn't really matter anyway. I know the gifts are there so we will have fun, but it's really all about Jesus." Eyebrows raise, heart flutters, eyes well up. Really?

"Where did you learn that my sweet boy?"

"Oh, I didn't learn it, Mommy, I just know it."

You are right, my sweet boy, you are so right. And, so wise and wonderful...

Bubble Wrap on Order

We've had a bit of accident-proneness around here lately. Kincaid fell in his sock feet in a friend's garage and busted his chin open. I wasn't in the garage at the time, but he must've landed solely on his chin directly on the concrete floor because it was gaping open and when I looked at it, I saw his chin bone. Gross. I was thankful that we were at someone else's home as I had a sudden onslaught of nausea and had to go put my head between my knees to keep from fainting. What has happened to me? I used to be so strong! Now I'm a big wimp. I mean, after two c-sections why should a bit of blood, bones and cartilage bring me to my knees? Thankfully, my sweet friend held his chin together while I pulled myself together and could think straight enough to drive to the emergency room.

Well, anyway, after several weeks, the chin healed. And then three months later he hit the side of the pool and busted the silly thing right back open. This time, I was smart. I didn't look. So, we are becoming frequent fliers at Vanderbilt. In fact, within 20 months, Charming, Kincaid & Scarlett have visited the emergency room a collective five times. Seems like they should reserve us our own parking spot right out front. I'm just hoping we haven't made it onto the list. You know the one, the "We'd better keep an eye on these ones - a bit too many accidents going on at their house" List.

So, after a few weeks, I was hopeful that we might be on the way out of the "accident-zone" and back to worry free bumps & bruises. Alas, this week has brought that dream to an end. Within the past three days Kincaid has ripped his big toe open, fallen down the stairs and busted his lip (thankfully the poor chin escaped the "third times a charm" curse), turned around too sharply and landed the entire right side of his face in the door frame, (hence the presence of a black eye and swollen cheek bone), dropped an 8 pound weight on the big toe that wasn't ripped open, and swam too close to the bottom of the pool and scraped scab #2 right off that poor chin of his! And now, Scarlett has fallen down the steps and smashed her finger on something. Whew. What AM I doing wrong?

I've decided that there aren't enough band-aids in the world to keep us all safe, so I've got bubble wrap on order.

And believe me, we'll all be wearing it!

When Too Much Is Not Enough

Yes, I know she's cute.

She really can throw a fit, I promise.

She thinks if she is cute, she can get away with more.
It doesn't work. Most of the time.

"Enough is as good as a feast." Mary Poppins

Toddler-speak. This is where I am. The daily grind of trying to interpret a different language. I took two years of French in high school, but it doesn't seem to be helping me with toddler-speak any more than English is. Unfortunately, Scarlett doesn't realize she is speaking in a different language and is extremely "fusrated" when I do not understand her commands and immediately do her bidding.

The latest misunderstanding only took a few minutes to clear up on my end, but she is still not getting it. She thinks "TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH" actually means "Not enough" or "More". I'm still not certain, I guess those mean the same thing. Of course, "we" are never rational or patient or kind in asking for "Too Much". Oh no, to get our point across we must scream, yell & bounce up and down like a bobble-head. So, like any normal person speaking our mother tongue (and good mom that I am, mostly), when Scarlett starts screaming like a banshee, "too much, too much", I sweetly take her bowl/cup/toy and remove the part that is "too much". Well, as you can imagine, I soon found out she was actually speaking the "father tongue" (is there such a thing? No.) & "too much" meant "not enough".

Now, I'm figuring out day-by-day that the "TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH" demands actually happen completely out of context also. For instance, even if her cereal bowl of Lucky Charms (for dessert only, of course, what rational, nurturing mother would give her child sugar cereals for breakfast???) is completely filled to the top, we can still have the "TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH" fall-apart if there aren't enough marshmallows visible without too much digging!

But, of course, all the cute things she says with that sweet smile certainly make up for the occasional "TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH" meltdown.

Otay? (Father-tongue for Okay)